Available Counseling

Addiction

2008-04-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

Addiction can happen to anyone with anything. Every person can or has been addicted to something. Addictions can range from the somewhat minimal addiction of caffeinated beverages to the hardest drug. Human knowledge of substances that are addictive are relatively new. There are certain steps that can be followed to achieve success. I feel that while the twelve step program is powerful it is missing certain key points and should be modified. I have organized this program according to what should be done immediately and what things should be done daily, weekly, or monthly. For the plan explained specific to the addiction click on the addiction.

Pornography/Sex Addiction

Alcoholism

Nicotine

Drug Addiction

Do these immediately

1. Admit to yourself, God, and someone else that you need help.

2. Ask a person that you trust and love to be your accountability partner.

3. Plead with God to take away the addiction from you.

4. Talk to those you have wronged and make up for it unless it would injure them more to talk to them. (Pay back money stolen)

5. Make a list of triggers and figure out ways to eliminate them.

6. Make a list of ways and specific times to serve others.

7. Establish a plan for eliminating stress. (establish a regular exercise routine, a debt elimination calendar, and learn relaxation techniques)

Things that should be done daily, weekly, or monthly.

1. Report daily to God and to your accountability partner. (accountability partner for a month or until you feel it's time; God for the rest of your life.) Establish habits such as prayer at least two times daily, and scripture study daily.

2. Take your list that you wrote to serve others and do it. The time you would normally spend doing the activity that was harmful should be replaced with service to others. It takes 21 days to make a habit. Therefore make a habit of service to replace your addiction with.

3. Take your list of triggers and avoid them.

4. Be blunt when you are tempted and pray and call your accountability partner immediately.

5. Work, Work, Work.

6. Follow your plan for eliminating stress do not give even one days break.

Family Games

2008-04-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

Games are always fun and can help children and adults learn things easier than without games.

I've searched the internet and found some of my favorites.

Children

PBS KIDS IT'S MY LIFE has games to help older children learn such things as rumor control and responsibility.

PBS KIDS has educational games for younger children.

Fun Brain is a great educational game site

Hot Wheels is a fun non-educational game site

Adults

Sodoku my wife and I love to play Sodoku together.

Bowling is a fun game to play together online without the smoke.

Parenting Game is a fun way to practice your parenting skills.

AGE 0 - 1 1/2

2008-04-03T07:39:00.000-07:00

The newness of having a child is still there and in some cases the sleep is still infrequent. This stage in a child's life is about learning to communicate and becoming more independent. But how do you deal with a crying whiny baby?
Sign language has helped many children communicate their needs earlier without crying. This doesn't always work and impatience and irritation can lead to regret. I've heard stories and even known people first hand who have thrown, beat, or injured their baby. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE and in my opinion disallows any participant from having any contact with their child. Handling the crying and whining appropriately has to deal with love. Four things can greatly improve these years for you and your child.

First, learn to know your child's routines. Does your child normally get hungry at a certain time? Does your child fill his diaper at a certain time? Has it been awhile since your child ate? Knowing the routines of our children help us to know how to comfort them. For example, a child that is crying because he/she is hungry could be fed. A child that has a stomachache because she/he is trying to go poddy could have his/her stomach rubbed to relieve the discomfort.

Second, have tough love. At this age? Yes. Tough love doesn't mean you don't comfort them when they get hurt, but it does mean you let them cry sometimes. Reasons you might let them cry are: When they are over six months and you know that they're healthy, not hungry, and not injured and they just don't want to go to sleep. When it is time to teach your child to crawl you must give them tummy time. Tummy time is where you place your child on her/his tummy after about 4-6 months so the child can begin to learn to roll over and eventually crawl. Some children hate it others love it. IF YOUR CHILD HATES IT STILL DO IT. Teaching your child isn't always easy, but you can do it.

Third, love like there's no tomorrow. Imagine if your child died tomorrow. Would he/she know that you loved him/her? Showing love can come by playing, singing and by simply saying it. You will find different ways that are unique to your child. The bottom line is to do it and do it often.

Fourth, good parents are well rested and have alone time. Your child should be given to grandma and grandpa to watch. I recommend that husband and wife go out once a week. Your child will actually grow more as she/he learns a new environment and you are rejuvenated.

Your child is precious, but nobody is perfect so don't beat yourself up. Keep trying and eventually when your kids leave the house you'll have it figured out.

Parenting

2008-03-31T16:57:00.001-07:00

I've heard many wise people say that children strengthen the marriage. Do tantrums, dirty diapers, whiny questions, and filling the toilet with anything imaginable really strengthen the marriage? Yes and no, yes because as a result of children the marriage is strengthened. No, because the marriage is not strenthened by adding the children to your ranks, but rather by how we adapt to having the children around. As children come a marriage is strengthened as parents give selflessly to their children. The focus becomes less on what my partner can do for me and more what can I do for my child. This is not to say that parenting isn't difficult because it is. Parenting is not a one size fits all program. Different age groups and maturity levels should be handled differently. Use the resources here to get ideas on how to handle the different groups.

Age

0-1 1/2

Marriage

2008-03-31T16:27:00.000-07:00

Marriage usually starts with happiness and excitement now that Mr or Mrs Right is found. After 6 months the excitement wears off and then in a year or two it becomes old or even hostile. The truth is the first 6 months of marriage can last, but the couple must have determination and dedication. Three things will ensure that marriage is long, strong, and full of joy. They are the golden rule, space, and activity. To learn more about the three keys to a happy marriage read the following articles.

Golden Rule
Space
Activity

Stress

2008-03-31T11:48:00.000-07:00

To many people stress out about the littlest things. For example, my wife would stress about the house not being clean or the way someone acted toward her. Stress can be associated with money problems, relationship problems, lack of sleep, job problems and even what we eat. Luckily, most stress can be combated with a few changes in a daily routine. To learn more about combating stress please go to the following articles.

1. Relationship Problems

2. Money Problems

3. Lack of Sleep

4. Job Problems

5. Eating Issues